The Junior Saints Mums met on 22 March 2018 at the LCK Hall@Church of the Ascension for their March meeting.
The session started out with a recap of the February session and an overview of Fall And I Learn, and a focus on how to allow our kids to develop resilience when they don’t find success in their work.
Brenda then shared about growth and fixed mindset.
The research done by Carol Dweck in her 2007 book, “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” has been adopted by educators, organisations, learners, and parents to help learners develop a growth mindset.
This video explains the Growth and Fixed Mindsets:
And has implications for how our children view challenges, failures, and success, and how resilient they would be in life.
How can we help our kids reframe their failures and build resilience?
- “Something Worthwhile”
If something is worthwhile, the hardship and effort to doing that something is not only then required, but also a meaningful process to the worthwhile outcome.
- “Clues for Learning”
Beyond telling our kids that they need to “learn”, it’s also important to teach them how to learn (eg, repetition, drill), and also that wrong answers are clues that we haven’t mastered a concept or topic yet.
- Ask for help
We need to teach our kids that they can and should look for help when they face a difficulty. It embarasses kids to ask for help because they feel vunerable and worry that if they asked for help, they will look foolish.
Other principles that Brenda noted as important principles include:
- Honour the emotions:
The child’s disappointments, frustrations, anger, etc may be negative emotions, but we need to allow them to feel those emotions as part of the failure process. However, we also need to help them realise that–
- We are Choice-ful people:
We can make a choice to do something about the failure, or let it remain so. We can choose to put aside our negative emotions or dwell in it. To remain unhappy is also a choice.
- Reframing ‘Challenges’ as ‘Normal’:
In doing so, challenges and obstacles are not extraordinary situations, but is the norm and expected. This means that failures are part of the process of learning and something that provides feedback on where to get better in.
The session ended with Brenda getting the mums to think up ways and verbal responses that will promote a growth mindset in our kids, in response to a few sets of situations that they would meet with their kids.